Wives and Husbands: 1 Peter 3:1-7
Tonight, Jason challenged me to pick a passage in the Bible and blog about it. Why did he challenge me in this way? Because I haven’t sat down even once this week for quiet time. He’s quite disappointed in me, and feels like he’s harping on me when he reminds me or asks me why I hadn’t done it (again). The worst part is, I have no idea why I haven’t done it. None what-so-ever! So, when he asked me to do this, I wasn’t going to say no. I first went into Ephesians 5 (which talks much about husbands and wives), but was more interested in looking at the cross referenced passages. I happened upon 1 Peter 3:2,5 and decided to read and study that tonight. So, here goes…
Reading: 1 Peter 3:1-7
1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives— 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Passages like this one tend to be like walking on glass for many women. Just the thought of being submissive or (as the ESV puts it) to “be subject to” our husbands makes them feel as though they are second class citizens, that they don’t have an equal value to men, etc etc. It’s such a shame that so many women who feel like that can’t see past the ends of their own noses. It’s not about them, it’s about God and His glory, not our own.
God created this perfect place for man to exist – we didn’t have to work for our food, we lived in harmony with nature and all of God’s creations, and best of all, we had a perfect existence where we could walk and talk with God. Man and woman completely messed that up for everyone. God in his perfection could not have that same relationship with us anymore. Unfortunately, with that removal from Eden also came the exact curses that cause women to spit nails when they read a verse like this. Women are cursed with the desire to rule over men:
Genesis 3:16
…Your desire shall be for your husband,
and he shall rule over you.”
No woman wants to be ruled over. It’s not in our nature – our sin nature, that is. But, when a woman is able to devote herself to the Lord, to be found pleasing in God’s eyes – gentle and quiet in spirit – then are we not threatened by a passage like this.
The passage goes on to talk about how a woman can win over a disobedient husband not with words, but with actions and conduct. I think that this goes for not only spiritual matters, but in any aspect of a married life. How many husbands are going to respond positively when their wives are harping on them and displaying harsh conduct and a rough actions? But when leading by example, God promises women that they will win over their husbands. It’s not being underhanded or manipulative, it’s being gentle, submitting ourselves and respecting them as the head of the house/marriage.
Don’t go thinking that husbands get off easy, getting to be in charge and boss their wives around all the time. That’s not what God intended a marriage to be like. God reminds husbands in v.7 that they, likewise, have certain responsibilities to their wives as well, lest their prayers be hindered:
live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life (v7)
I can’t imagine any man not wanting to live up to that with their bride. God appointed them as the head of household, to protect and protect their wives (and family). There is no greater honour (or weight upon one’s shoulders!) than to be responsibile for your wife as heir with him of the grace of life!!