Tonight, I asked my wife to pray and ask the Lord for discernment on a good topic to study. As is evident by the blog, she has struggled with her quiet time over this past week. Most of that has to do with her trying to manage the kids, clean the house so we can sell it, feeling under the weather, and the list goes on… She prayed and this passage came to her mind. Thus, a quiet time study of 1 Peter 3:1-7.
Wives should be “subject” to their husbands. I want to learn more about this word.
ESV uses the word “subject”, NIV and NASB use the word submissive. Strong’s defines the word submissive as:
- to arrange under, to subordinate
- to subject, put in subjection
- to subject one’s self, obey
- to submit to one’s control
- to yield to one’s admonition or advice
- to obey, be subject
A Greek military term meaning “to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader”. In non-military use,it was “a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden”.
There is no difference in the word submissive or subject from the Greek perspective.
In this context, I think of how a husband is told he is the head of the house (Numbers 1:4, Ephesians 5:22-31) just as Christ is the head of the Church. Peter does not give us this verse to be controversial about the relationship between husband and wife but to make very clear the expectations of the Lord. The controversy around this piece of Scripture exists only because we are sinful. We are not obedient to the Lord. If every man loved his wife like the Lord loved him and if every woman loved her husband like the Lord loves her, marriages would be very different today. As is, my opinion is that many women do not like the idea of being subject to anything or anyone. They have their rights and are equal to a man. Well… yes, if you mean in the way that the Lord loves us. A woman is built different and a woman serves a different purpose on earth. Woman was created by God for companionship for man.
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit him.” (Genesis 2:18 ESV)
…and…
8For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. (1 Corinthians 11:8-9 ESV)
I’m not trying to say that this is a bad thing, this is a great thing! I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for my wife. As Scripture said, I left my family so that I could be joined with my family. I want that to be for eternity. I am not with her because I want her to subject herself to me and be obedient to me. I want her to be obedient to the Lord. Hopefully, if I am doing my job correctly, the only thing I am really disciplining or rebuking her about is obeying and listening to the Lord.
Peter also tells us that a woman should conduct herself in a way that could win over her husband just by her conduct. Peter tells us exactly what that conduct should be:
when they see your respectful and pure conduct.
(1 Peter 3:2 ESV)
Respectful and pure conduct only comes from the Lord. If the woman is living in sin, she will never win over her husband to the Lord. She must show him Christ in her life every moment possible. Respect and pure conduct could be restated as Jesus’s command:
You shall love your neighbor as yourself…
(Mark 12:31)
Your neighbor can be your husband (or wife) as well. People simply need to show others love. Not puppy dog love but true, heart wretching, love.
Jason Worthen 1 Peter, Quiet Time